ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
operation have a gay friend backfired
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
