It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
