is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
