We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
