He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
