His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
