i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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