I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize