That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
