Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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