two words...techno handjob
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
