So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize