I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
