honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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