carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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