I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
