After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
