Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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