You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
