Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
