after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
