Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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