You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
