i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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