So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
