So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
