there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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