Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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