considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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