So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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