just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
