Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
