tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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