Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
