why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
