I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
