I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
