I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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