You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
