are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
