Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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