Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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