hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
