My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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