At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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