Your face is a jimmy john
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
