I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
