Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize