Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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