i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
