Ambien. No doubt about it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
