you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize