You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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