I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Still dying that you shit outside
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
