and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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