I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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