a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
