the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
