I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
