I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
