Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize