our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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