he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
